Sometimes, when a painting or drawing does not measure up to the image I have in my mind, I can get discouraged. I was thinking about this while watching the trees outside my window this morning. I continued to think about this as I was in the shower.... that seems to be where I do my best thinking. :)
What happens for me when I'm struggling with a painting, is that I start to doubt myself, my ability, my talent... and ultimately my identity as an artist.
So Liz.... what does it mean to be an artist. For me... being an artist means that I see things differently, or in a unique way.... and I am in a state of unrest until I am able to share them on canvas. The artist part of me is in my mind, and my soul, my breath .... the art is what I share. When I struggle to share what I see, and the struggle causes me unrest.... should I doubt myself... NO. I think possibly that art, or being an artist is more about the vision, the thought, the living breathing energy, than the product.
Having said that.... it is kind of nice to sell a painting now and then so that I am able to purchase more fuel in the form of paints, brushes, canvas... etc.. :)
The sketch.... was done a few years ago, and was meant to just ease all my thoughts at that time. I look at it now, and I can see that it is so much who I am. There is worry, joy, imagination, comfort, anxiety, hope, history, love and longing all there.
Liz R. Derksen is an artist living in BC.